Forgiveness

Someone asked me to recommend a book on forgiveness today and I mentioned my favorite author on the subject, Lewis Smedes. I also shared with this person a very powerful definition of forgiveness: Giving up all hope of a better past.

Since then I've found myself prowling around on the net looking for more material and I came across this:

Many promising reconciliations have broken down because while both parties come prepared to forgive, neither party comes prepared to be forgiven.

-- Charles Williams

It often hurts our pride to be forgiven when we prefer to hang on to the belief that we've done nothing wrong. This dynamic is really something to bring to our reflection time, I think.

Prayer beads

Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Here are some interesting details about the composition of Anglican prayer beads:

[T]he number of beads in the Anglican rosary has been set at 33, the number of years in Christ's life. A set of Anglican beads is comprised of four sets of 7 beads called "weeks". The number 7 represents wholeness and completion, and reminds us of the 7 days of creation, the 7 days of the temporal week, the 7 seasons of the church year, and the 7 sacraments. Four "cruciform" beads separate the "weeks". They represent the 4 points of the cross and its centrality in our lives and faith, the 4 seasons of the temporal year, and the 4 points on a compass.

It's often helpful to have something to do with one's hands while praying. There are many forms of rosaries. The Anglican form is only one. And, of course, you can always just take a piece of string and tie knots in it. It's easy. It works!

Wings like eagles

Artist: Lynne Neuman

This morning's lessons include one of my favorite passages from Isaiah:

Those who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.

Deacon Judy Gann was our guest preacher this morning. One line from her sermon will stick with me for life, I think:

Today's motivational speakers have nothing on Isaiah!

Oh, how true. ("Have you not known? Have you not heard?")

And I just can't resist sharing this oldie:

The sin and disease of division

Division has always been a disease of the church... The Love Feast, which should have been the sign and symbol of perfect unity, has become a thing of divisions and class distinctions. And here there is something which only the newer translations reveal. In the older translations, it is said that to eat and drink at the sacrament without discerning the Lord's body is the way to judgment and not to salvation. But in the best Greek text, the word Lord's is not included. The sin is not to discern the body; that is to say, not to discern that the church is a body, not to be aware of the oneness of the church, not to be aware of the togetherness in which all its members should be joined.

... William Barclay, Ethics in a Permissive Society

Consolation

Artist: Archip Iwanowitsch Kuindshi
Image from Wikimedia Commons

If the eyes had no tears,
the soul would have no rainbow.

-- Native American Proverb

A different sort of eyes

Kindergarten art

There is no telling where God may turn up next — around what sudden bend of the path if you happen to have your eyes and ears open, your wits about you, in what odd, small moments almost too foolish to tell.

— Frederick Buechner in The Eyes of the Heart

Buechner's title is an allusion to a passage in Ephesians that I've always loved - a prayer that "the eyes of our hearts may be enlightened." Think for a while about your heart having eyes, would you?

Artist: Rita Blitt

Candlemas

Artist: Giotto di Bondone

Today is sometimes called The Feast of the Purification of the Virgin Mary and sometimes The Presentation of Our Lord Jesus Christ:

Here's part of what James Kiefer said:

Counting forward from December 25 as Day One, we find that Day Forty is February 2. A Jewish woman is in semi-seclusion for 40 days after giving birth to a son, and accordingly it is on February 2 that we celebrate the coming of Mary and Joseph with the infant Jesus to the Temple at Jerusalem...

Because an old reading for this festival contains the line (Zephaniah 1:12), "I will search Jerusalem with candles," the day is also known as Candlemas, and sometimes observed with a candle-lit procession.

The old Celtic name for this day is Imbolc or Oimelk which are a references to the pregnancy and lactating of the ewes. It is considered the first day of spring.

RIP Izzy Finlay (1995 -2009)

Izzy is guarding the front door of a previous house we lived in.

Today, my wonderful Anatolian Shepherd (who was part of my life for almost thirteen years) died peacefully in my arms. She had just been diagnosed with bone cancer.

I made the decision many years ago that I would not let her deteriorate or go through any unnecessary pain when there was no hope of her getting better. So there was no inner struggle or conflict about knowing what needed to be done.

She was happy to the end - still guarding the house with vigor.

Izzy had an astonishing talent for friendship, was fiercely maternal and powerfully confident in her role as a guard dog - a job she took very seriously. She adored babies of any species: cat babies, dog babies, human babies.... it didn't matter. If she encountered a baby all she wanted to do was be with it and protect it and take care of it.

I want to say right here that I am grateful beyond expression to all the wonderful doctors and other staff members of Woodland Central Animal Hospital who loved her too, praised her lavishly and gave her the very best of care from the moment she was brought in as a rescue until she breathed her last.

Finally, to those who have been so supportive of me today through emails, phone calls, prayers and presence, thank you. I feel surrounded by care and compassion and sympathy in the very best sense of that word.

I'm going to rest for a while now.

With love to you all,
Ellie

How to be beautiful

Artist: Khalil Gibran*

As a church, we need to reclaim the understanding that adversity can be redemptive and transforming. The so-called "prosperity gospel" promotes the false doctrine that if we just do everything right and believe correctly and think positively that our life will be smooth and successful:

The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

-- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

And here's something else:

When we begin to believe that there is greater joy in working with and for others, rather than just for ourselves, then our society will truly become a place of celebration.

-- Jean Vanier

I read a lot of Jean Vanier when I was in the convent. His understanding of what makes community work is unsurpassed.

This painting is of Gibran's mother standing in front of a relief that depicts a wounded lioness. He said this about it: "This is a portrait of my mother's soul. The soul is there, the simple majesty."

I dream of a church

Our Lady of Refuge

My friend, David, over from Mad Priest's place, left a lovely, lovely comment on my meditation blog early this morning. So I went over to his blog to explore a bit and found this wonderful poem:

I dream of a church that joins in with God’s laughing
as she rocks in her rapture, enjoying her art;
she’s glad of her world, in its risking and growing;
‘tis the child she has born and holds close to her heart.

I dream of a church that joins in with God’s weeping
as she crouches, wedged down by the sorrow she sees:
she cries for the hostile, the cold and no-hoping,
for she bears in herself our despair and dis-ease.

I dream of a church that joins in with God’s dancing
as she moves like the wind and the wave and the fire:
a church that can pick up its skirts, pirouetting,
with the steps that can signal God’s deepest desire.

I dream of a church that joins in with God’s loving
as she bends to embrace the unlovely and lost,
a church that can free, by its sharing and daring,
the imprisoned and poor, and then shoulder the cost.

God, make us a church that joins in with your living,
as you cherish and challenge, rein in and release,
a church that is winsome, impassioned, inspiring;
lioness for your justice and lamb of your peace.

-- Kate Compston

I'm one of those seemingly rare people these days - a cradle Episcopalian. Being an Episcopalian/Anglican is not just a matter of conviction for me; it's central to my identity even though sometimes I have felt like bolting (for all sorts of various reasons over the years.) I was deeply moved by this poem because this church not only represents my faith, my commitment --- it is also home.

The Feast of Thomas Aquinas

Image of St. Thomas Aquinas (1225 - 1274)

Here's the central point to remember about this saint:

Saint Thomas Aquinas, a Dominican theologian, met the challenge posed to Christian faith by the philosophical achievements of the Greeks and Arabs. He effected a philosophical synthesis of faith and reason that is one of the greatest achievements of medieval times.

I've always felt huge respect of Aquinas - not necessarily because of his conclusions but because he established the precedent all those centuries ago for understanding and then communicating the Christian faith in the light of other - that is, non-Christian - philosophical systems.

Prayer request

Hello dear readers,

Yesterday I was admitted to hospital with some symptoms consistent with heart attack in women. Fortunately, it seems to have been a false alarm but they insisted on keeping me overnight for a variety of tests.

Just wanted to let you know what's going on. Don't worry. Nothing appears to be dire. But it is a little wake up call and I'll get to find out what my cardiac status really is.

I'll get back to blogging soon!

Love to you all,
Ellie

The Conversion of Saint Paul

Here is an excerpt from a sermon by The Rev. Dr. Luke Bouman for today's feast:

The extraordinary thing that we learn about God, in Jesus, is that forgiveness and conversion are possible at all. Acts (and we must admit that Luke may exaggerate for the sake of the story) portrays Paul as the greatest enemy of the earliest followers of “The Way.” But rather than smite him, or demonize him, Jesus instead takes his gifts of zeal and persuasion, and puts them to work for the Gospel.

An encounter with the risen Lord can do that for a person... The first good news in this story is that God doesn't give up on Paul, nor does God give up on us. Even when we are at enmity with God, God loves us and claims us. And since God does not separate us into “good” people and “evil” people, we no longer have to do that with each other. We need not justify our actions by pointing at others and proclaiming how bad they are, quite simply because God does not.

Conversion happens. Turnarounds happen. But they don't happen because I make them happen in myself. They happen because I am grasped, time after time, in an encounter with the risen Christ. Such is the wonder of our God.

I agree. What is most notable about today's observance, is that it's possible for conversions to happen at all. That possibility is really what we celebrate. And that can bring each of us enormous consolation.

Spiritual peace

"Saint with White Sleeves"

Artist: James Christensen

This is just so easy to forget:

I think there is a serious corruption in the idea sold through advertising that you can attain spiritual peace through lifestyle and the notion of building your happiness from the outside-in by acquiring things... which if you think about it, is the essence of advertising.

-- Edward Norton

Edward Norton, in case you didn't know, is a movie director. Here's something else he said that I really respect:

If you're overpaid, with a job you enjoy, how can you not give something back?

How refreshing that he knows he's overpaid. How refreshing that he believes he has a duty to do good in addition to doing well.

A World of Good

Artist: Alejandro Victor Ramirez Montalvo

Did you know that eBay now has a department called worldofgood.com that is just loaded with Fair Trade and other socially and ecologically responsible opportunities for purchases?

I really recommend that you go over there and explore. It's fun!

The above relief carving is from Peru, is 15 inches in diameter, and is only $134.35.

Now here's something else quite wonderful. If you access eBay through GoodShop and then type our name (St. John's Center for Spiritual Formation) in the charity line (be sure and hit "verify" if you haven't done this before), our Center receives a percentage of every purchase you make. There is a HUGE selection of other businesses you can access this way if you like to shop on line and that way you can help the Center without any cost to you whatsoever. You can also help the Center by using the GoodSearch search engine at least part of the time!

In these tough economic times, every little bit helps!

(Since registering with GoodSearch and GoodShop we have raised almost $1,000 through those organizations. You can read all about how they work right here.)

Vincent of Saragossa, Deacon and Martyr

Here's what I was able to find out:

The title line above states almost all that is certainly known about Vincent, the earliest Spanish martyr whose name is known to us. It is said that he was brought to trial along with his bishop Valerius, and that since Valerius had a speech impediment, Vincent spoke for both, and that his fearless manner so angered the governor that Vincent was tortured and killed, though his aged bishop was only exiled.

He was martyred in 304 and is the patron saint of wine makers, vinegar makers and vine dressers.

So, the next time you pull out that bottle of vinegar for your salad dressing, think of St. Vincent and give thanks for his life and witness!

Also, it seems to me that if you are horrified by the prospect of book burning then Vincent is your man! His tormenters agreed to release him if he would consign his Bible to the flames. He refused, of course.

St. Agnes of Rome

Agnes of Rome, Virgin and Martyr

Here's part of what James Kiefer has to say:

Agnes is a Christian martyr who died at Rome around 304 in the persecution of Diocletian: the last and fiercest of the persecutions of Christianity by the Roman emperors. The anniversary of her martyrdom is observed on 21 January. Her name means “pure” in Greek and “lamb” in Latin. She is said to have been only about twelve or thirteen when she died, and the remains preserved in St Agnes' Church in Rome are in agreement with this. It is said that her execution shocked many Romans and helped bring an end to the persecutions.

Some said, “It is contrary to Roman law to put a virgin to death. Our leaders say that it is necessary to kill Christians in order to preserve the old Roman ways: but they are themselves scorning those ways in the process.”

Others said, “Do young girls constitute such a threat to Rome that it is necessary to kill them?”

Others said, “If this religion can enable a twelve-year-old girl to meet death without fear, it is worth checking out.”

This reminds me of the old Zen story about a monk who is confronted by a marauding military man who says, "Don't you know I am the one who can run my sword through you without blinking an eye?"

Whereupon the monk replies, "Don't you know I am the one who can have your sword run through me without blinking an eye?"

One version of the story says that the soldier then bowed low before the monk and said, "Please teach me."

About the blog

Hello, Readers.

It is with considerable regret that I have decided to enable comment moderation on this blog for the time being.While anyone is free to disagree with me or anyone else, I do believe that some ground rules are necessary - especially since this is a spirituality blog.

Reasonable people of good will can and do disagree about most any issue a person could name. Thoughtful and compassionate people, however, do so politely, without profanity and without personal attacks. It is also important not to engage in "mind reading" -- that is, assuming what a person thinks and then attacking the person for it. All I'm asking for here is civility.

Blessings to all and thank you for understanding.